is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
