please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Farmville is her only friend.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
