He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
