I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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