i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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