i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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