I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i out mim tonsoeep
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
