i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
