there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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