Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
