we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize