I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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