she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
