I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
