Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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