i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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