just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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