Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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