I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Boobs speak an international language.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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