i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
