I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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