apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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