is your mom at the bar?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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