For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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