Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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