What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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