ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
