your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize