Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
