so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
