i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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