dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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