There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
