she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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