i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
accomplished twins. life is a go
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
