im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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