I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
