He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
