oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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