hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
