You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize