Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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