That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I will pee on everything he values.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize
