Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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