He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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