Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
