it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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