Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
