Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
