its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
