thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
