the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We need to get me chipped asap
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize