Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
