I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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