What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
