i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I touched a dick in church today
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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