Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
