Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
