This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
