I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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