so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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