ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
