so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
